Wednesday, September 29, 2010

CHANGE

Track: Adele: Melt My Heart to Stone

Mood: Relaxed

CHANGE

Greetings blogworld! I pray this post finds you all in the nest of health and the highest of spirits. A new friend of mine (SHOUT OUT @ CHAREICE) asked me to write about "Change". She wanted to know my perspective, so I thought I'd share. It requires a little background on my personality.

My life is very calculated. The moves I make are very meticulous and strategic. I have to have a reason for everything and I have to know the next move before I make the first one. Have you ever made plans to hang out with friends and then fall through. Either people flake or life gets in the way? Yea, that happens to me all the time.

I've made plans for my entire life. At this age, I should have a masters degree, making 100k a year, self employed, and living a life of luxury ... and yet none of the aforementioned things are happening. There is a quote that I enjoy, but can't remember who said it "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans". For me, this rings true. I was tired of making plans that never work out.

Obama won his historical election based on the idea and the concept of change. No, not that stuff left over after you break a dollar. Real change.

One day I sat in front of my computer and thought..."Something different has to happen IMMEDIATELY!" Now, I don't recommend everyone do what I did, but it worked for me. I logged on to Facebook and posted as my status "Where should I move: Florida, Georgia, DC, New York, or Virginia?" The people spoke and I listened. I began looking for a job and a little over a month later I was living in Alpharetta, Georgia.

Positive change is always good. Sometimes you have to do something different if you expect different results. I wanted different results, so I didn't PLAN, I just DID. One thing you have to keep in mind is that, sometimes things get worse before they get better, but they ALWAYS get better. Until be meet again, be blessed.

Peace and love ...

Friday, September 10, 2010

Track: The Black Keys: Tighten Up

Mood: Numb

WHY

Greetings Blogworld?! I hope this post finds you in the best of health and the highest of spirits. It seems like ages since my last post. I'm working on consistency. I'm just gonna jump into this post...

On Saturday September 4th, I was leaving work and an acquaintance was walking out in front of me. When I got to my car, she called me over to hers.

She said,"Anthony, you know I appreciate all you do, right?"
I replied,"Of course."
She grabbed me and gave me a tight hug and said, "I love you. Have a good weekend."
"I love you too." I said. "Have a good weekend also."

On Monday September 6th, with a gun as her accomplice, she took her own life. Because I wasn't there I will never know the true details of what happened. One can only wonder what would cause a seemingly happy teacher, mother, wife, and daughter to turn a gun on herself and pull the trigger.

Of course when the news broke at work everyone and their mother had a theory as to what happened. "She was really stressed and just could take it anymore." Okay. "She was on heavy anti depressants and you know suicidal thoughts and behaviors are side effects." Okay. "Her husband was trying to divorce her." Okay. Again, because I wasn't there, I refuse to believe the stories that people conjure up.

On some level, I think suicide is selfish. You brought us joy and you took that away from us. Or maybe that's just me being selfish. I wonder about the child, husband, grandchildren, mother, and friends that she left behind. The church was at capacity during the funeral and the funeral home was standing room only during the visitation. She was loved. I can't help but think that had she known how loved she truly was, maybe things could have been different. Maybe not.

A smile can hide a lot of pain. Again, I don't know all the details to this situation, but I do know that suicide is nothing but a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There's always another choice.

Until we meet again,

Peace and love...