Track: The Black Keys: Tighten Up

Mood: Numb

WHY

Greetings Blogworld?! I hope this post finds you in the best of health and the highest of spirits. It seems like ages since my last post. I'm working on consistency. I'm just gonna jump into this post...

On Saturday September 4th, I was leaving work and an acquaintance was walking out in front of me. When I got to my car, she called me over to hers.

She said,"Anthony, you know I appreciate all you do, right?"
I replied,"Of course."
She grabbed me and gave me a tight hug and said, "I love you. Have a good weekend."
"I love you too." I said. "Have a good weekend also."

On Monday September 6th, with a gun as her accomplice, she took her own life. Because I wasn't there I will never know the true details of what happened. One can only wonder what would cause a seemingly happy teacher, mother, wife, and daughter to turn a gun on herself and pull the trigger.

Of course when the news broke at work everyone and their mother had a theory as to what happened. "She was really stressed and just could take it anymore." Okay. "She was on heavy anti depressants and you know suicidal thoughts and behaviors are side effects." Okay. "Her husband was trying to divorce her." Okay. Again, because I wasn't there, I refuse to believe the stories that people conjure up.

On some level, I think suicide is selfish. You brought us joy and you took that away from us. Or maybe that's just me being selfish. I wonder about the child, husband, grandchildren, mother, and friends that she left behind. The church was at capacity during the funeral and the funeral home was standing room only during the visitation. She was loved. I can't help but think that had she known how loved she truly was, maybe things could have been different. Maybe not.

A smile can hide a lot of pain. Again, I don't know all the details to this situation, but I do know that suicide is nothing but a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There's always another choice.

Until we meet again,

Peace and love...