BREAK UP

Track: Jeremih: Break Up to Make Up
Mood: Breezy...

Break Up

We've been through this several times before,
but now I'm at my wit's end; I can't do this anymore.

They say if at first you don't succeed, try try again,
but at some point this cycle has to end.

Just when I think we're tip toeing into the gates of Heaven,
all Hell breaks loose.
Oh well, it's the truth.

Your "love" had me blind, so in my mind we were fine;
when all the while my heart was doing time.

I was hypnotized by your eyes;
& entranced by your thighs.

I had to swerve through your curves;
& held a tight grip on your hips.

But your kiss was like venom.

It paralyzed my judgment;
Made me think this was something that it wasn't.

The control you had over my heart had to end;
& before you ask, "nah!" We could never be friends.

With no conditions I accepted your every imperfection;
& now, when I look in the mirror I don't recognize my own reflection.

But I realize & recognize our many tries to revitalize;
A love...
That I don't think has a pulse anymore.

You love me in the morning & loathe me in the evening;
& by night...I don't know how you're gonna feel.

I'm at a constant conflict between my head & heart;
My heart saying, "try again" my head saying, "be smart".

I'm no actor so I'm no good at playing the fool;
& in this production of MY LIFE, heart, you lose.

After this rollercoaster of emotions we've been through;
the only one left is hate...& I can't wait to hate you.

MAKING MOVES

Mood: SUPERhuman
Track: Rudy Currence-Zion


What's up blogworld? I hope this entry finds you all in the best of health and the highest of spirits.

I've been thinking lately...I know, never a good sign lol, but I had an epiphany. I have been out of college for almost a year and still have yet to land a job in my field. My parents keep telling me that it's the economy and that things will turn around soon, but I'm tired of hearing that. I am also tired of blaming the economy. I'm sick of hanging around and temporarily accepting mediocrity until the perfect job comes along.

With that being said, I think that I need to get out and search for the perfect job. I think that if I grind hard enough and pound the pavement hard enough, I'll land the career I want. So, I'm making plans to get out and explore more options. I think I have exhausted them all here. Honestly, (at the risk of sounding arrogant and or conceited) I think I'm too big for my town. I think I have more to offer the world and staying here is holding me back. I admire my friends who move away in the search for their dreams (shout out to Puff and Will). I've never been a huge risk taker and all my moves are usually well calculated. Sprinters in races don't look back because it slows them down. I need to get in the race and not look back until I've crossed the finish line.

Graduate school. A career in Journalism. A career in Psychology. There are a lot of options I have and I don't know where to start. One thing I do know is that planning has no purpose if I don't put the plans into action. I can no longer let the fear of striking out keep me from playing the game! Batter up! (I couldn't resist lol).

Until we meet again...

Peace and love...

THE BENEDICTION

MOOD: CONFUSED
TRACK: RYAN LESLIE: HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

The Benediction

Greeting all! I truly hope this post finds you all in the highest of spirits and the best of health.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I've come to the conclusion that I have to do what's best for me. I know it sounds a bit selfish, but if I don't look out for me, who will? It's sad that people enter your life and cause chaos and confusion, but they are there for that purpose...learn from them. I look at those types and know exactly what NOT to do and how NOT to act.

Some people enter your life and stay for a season while others stay for a lifetime. I've only met a few that have stayed for longer than a season, but everyone of them has served their purpose. I just pray that I don't make the mistake of making seasonal friends lifelong ones because in the longrun, they're not meant to be.

There are always wolves disguised as sheep that try to bring you down...I have gained the ability to spot them out. I know who's down for me and who's not. I'm re-evaluating some people and some things. If I cut you off, don't feel bad and please don't be mad. You were only meant for a season and that season, just like autumn, has come to an end...

It's time to give the benediction...

Until we meet again...

Peace & love...

Independence Day

MOOD: BLAH

TRACK: ALICIA KEYS- DRAGON DAYS

INDEPENDENCE DAY

Greetings Blogworld! I hope this entry finds you in the best of health and the highest of spirits.

Happy 4th of July Everyone!! Hope you all had fun hanging out with family, attending cookouts, and watching fireworks. I didn't do any of the fore mentioned things. I was at home in my room almost all day. It's not that I didn't want to partake in any of the festivities going on, it's just that I had something more to celebrate. I was celebrating being alone. See, what most people don't understand is that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I am far from lonely. What better way to celebrate being alone, then...well being alone?

I have grown to love my own company and I think it's important, especially if I expect others to enjoy my company. How can I expect them to appreciate my company if I don't, so I took the time to hang with myself.

I stayed home and watched movies, wrote in my transcript, and just enjoyed the silence. Sometimes you just need a lazy day to sit back, relax, and do some refelction. To some, this sounds boring, but I had a great day. I hope that you all can take out the time to enjoy time alone. Take a lazy day for yourself and do nothing.

Until we meet again...

Peace and love...

NEW DAY

MOOD: REFRESHED
TRACK: RUDY CURRENCE-HERE WITH YOU

NEW DAY

Good day blog world! I hope this entry finds you in the best of health and the highest of spirits.

I woke up this morning in my usual early morning mood...irritable. To say I'm not a morning person would be an understatement. If I could sleep every day til noon, I probably would. So, when i had to get up at 6am in preparation for work, I was less than thrilled. But, when I was on my way to work I saw the sun rising. It's amazing how little things can completely change your perspective.

Every day is a new day. I know what you're thinking. Duh! But it's so much more than just a new day. It's a new opportunity. A new chance to right a wrong, pay back a debt, get over a grudge, meet someone new, or just celebrate the day. Take advantage.

until we meet again,

peace & love...

BAD...& you know it!

Mood: Mourning
Track: Michael Jackson: PYT

Greeting blogworld! I hope that this entry finds you in the best of health & the highest of spirits.

Michael Jackson is dead...still feels weird to say. The entire world was stunned when the King of Pop's death was confirmed. I didn't want to believe it & I hoped it was a cruel joke, but it wasn't.

It's been several days & I didn't expect for it to hit me so hard. A celebrity that I have never met passed away...so what. But, that is definitely not how I felt. I felt like I knew Michael Jackson. His music made me feel like that. It was so personal. When I watched the coverage of all of the memorials around the world, I knew I wasn't the only one to feel this way. It's funny how me, my mom, my grandparents, & my little nephew can all listen to MJ's music & sing along without missing a beat. No one else's music can bridge generations like that.

Of course, there are those who don't feel differently. I instantly became angry when I read facebook comments & status that stated ignorant things like, 'as least your little boys will be safe now' or 'he's 90% plastic, just melt him down & make him a toy'. Regardless of how one feels about MJ personally, his amazing musical contributions to the world are undeniable. He deserves his crown. I've watched so many music specials in the past few days & I am still amazed at the things this man has done. He used his music to break down racial barriers & don't get me started on his philanthropy! People just became obsessed with his personal life. I just hope that he is remembered as the icon & legend he is & not the mockery people made him out to be.

Regardless of your feelings of Michael Jackson as a person, he's bad, he's bad & you know it!

Til we meet again,

Peace & love...