5 Weekend Realizations

5 Weekend Realizations

Mood: Chill

Track: Tracy Chapman: Fast Car

Greetings blogworld. I pray that this entry finds you all in the best of health and the highest of spirits. It's been a lil while since we last spoke and I apologize for that. Life as I know it has been a roller coaster ride of rises and falls...and I wouldn't change a thing.

I am adjusting well to Georgia. I think so anyway. I am meeting people (slowly) and getting out of the house. Work still consumes most of my time and writing consumes a vast majority of my leisure time, but I try to relax here and there.

This past weekend was definitely one for the history books. Not only did I enjoy the various festivities in which I partook, I also learned a little about myself. So, here are the Top 5 Realizations I Had this weekend.

5. PEOPLE WILL ACCEPT ANYTHING IF YOU MARKET IT RIGHT

The BET Awards aired last night and I couldn't help, but laugh at some of the nonsense that my peers accepted. First of all, Trey Songz. Studio Trey is okay. He still gives a bit of the 3 billy goats gruff in his vibrato, but it's tolerable. Live, it ruins my life. Then he rips off his shirt to distract from the fact that he sounds like he swallowed a chain saw and drank a lemon chaser. Unacceptable people. Secondly, Beyonce. She's beautiful and talented and she definitely puts on a show, but she and BET worked together and pulled an Ashton Kutcher on everyone. We all got punk'd. The show continued to hype the "performance of the night" and promote "Queen Bey" and when it came time to deliver, she was broadcast live via satellite from England. I had to laugh when I saw the clip...kinda anticlimactic, huh?

4. I'M KINDA RUDE

But please allow me to explain. I'm not rude intentionally. I'm more so misunderstood. When I am put in a situation with individuals that I don't know, I usually sit back and observe. I am outgoing, but usually not initially. It has been brought to my attention before that it can be misinterpreted as rude. This weekend I took it to a new level by retreating to the fortress of my text messages or the solitude of my twitterverse. Alas, I was called out and guilted into getting off my phone. I'm glad because I ended up meeting cool people and having a great time.

3. I'M AM NOT A HATER

Now, I've never thought of myself as a hater, ever. If anything, I am usually the hatee lol. This weekend, while talking with friends, I often caught myself giving them words of encouragement and advice without judgement. I think this is a great trait to have. Not only do I want success, I want my friends to be successful as well. I'm even hosting a resume workshop where we work on our resumes, cover letters, and interview skills.

2. I'M OLD

I actually came to this realization two weeks ago while attempting to play football with some young whipper snappers. We weren't tackling or anything, yet when the game was over, every part of my body needed a time out and or a substitution...and I work out! Often! There is no reason my body should have reacted the way it did, just rude. I went out to dinner with some strangers who turned into acquaintances and a few have the potential to become friends. After dinner, they all had plans of going to a night club (I desperately wanted to call it a disco tech, but I fought it...and won). I declined the invitation to cut a rug (that's what we call dancing, for the youngins). By the end of the night, several people were calling me "pops" and "gramps". I think they think I'm old too. I have accepted the facts that I am more mature than most people my age and I have an old soul, so I feel extra old.

1. THE WORLD DOESN'T PAUSE WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND

This sounds like it would be a no brainer, but it was still strange for me to log onto Facebook and see my friends and family doing things without me. My entire life we're only lived our lives together and when I left to find myself a midst an unfamiliar world, it didn't really occur to me that their lives would go on. I guess I wanted them to place their lives on pause until I returned at which time I would press "resume" and things would go back to the way they were. That's not what happened at all. My old college friends are all getting married and my old flames are all having children. My nieces and nephews and getting bigger and smarter every day and I'm just getting older. Life is funny like that.

Until we meet again,

Peace and love...

2011

Track: Noisettes: Don't Give Up
Mood: Refreshed

Greetings blogworld! I hope this entry finds you in the best of health and the highest of spirits!

It's been quite a while since my last entry. There has been a lot going on in my life. As you know, I moved to Georgia and everything was going well... and then it wasn't. Things went from bad to worse in a matter of days. I don't think I've ever felt worse in my life. It was the lowest point I had ever experienced.

Driving one day, I had an epiphany. The two things I always pray for are: patience and humility. I realized that everything I was experiencing was a part of my process. I couldn't expect God to just give me what I asked for. Instead, He put me in situations to learn. I feel like God literally ripped me a part and rebuild a stronger, wiser, better me.

I have a new perspective on life and I feel really good about all that is happening and things yet to come. No matter what is happening in your life, DON'T GIVE UP! It's all a part of your process.

Until we meet again ....

Peace and love...

CHANGE

Track: Adele: Melt My Heart to Stone

Mood: Relaxed

CHANGE

Greetings blogworld! I pray this post finds you all in the nest of health and the highest of spirits. A new friend of mine (SHOUT OUT @ CHAREICE) asked me to write about "Change". She wanted to know my perspective, so I thought I'd share. It requires a little background on my personality.

My life is very calculated. The moves I make are very meticulous and strategic. I have to have a reason for everything and I have to know the next move before I make the first one. Have you ever made plans to hang out with friends and then fall through. Either people flake or life gets in the way? Yea, that happens to me all the time.

I've made plans for my entire life. At this age, I should have a masters degree, making 100k a year, self employed, and living a life of luxury ... and yet none of the aforementioned things are happening. There is a quote that I enjoy, but can't remember who said it "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans". For me, this rings true. I was tired of making plans that never work out.

Obama won his historical election based on the idea and the concept of change. No, not that stuff left over after you break a dollar. Real change.

One day I sat in front of my computer and thought..."Something different has to happen IMMEDIATELY!" Now, I don't recommend everyone do what I did, but it worked for me. I logged on to Facebook and posted as my status "Where should I move: Florida, Georgia, DC, New York, or Virginia?" The people spoke and I listened. I began looking for a job and a little over a month later I was living in Alpharetta, Georgia.

Positive change is always good. Sometimes you have to do something different if you expect different results. I wanted different results, so I didn't PLAN, I just DID. One thing you have to keep in mind is that, sometimes things get worse before they get better, but they ALWAYS get better. Until be meet again, be blessed.

Peace and love ...

Track: The Black Keys: Tighten Up

Mood: Numb

WHY

Greetings Blogworld?! I hope this post finds you in the best of health and the highest of spirits. It seems like ages since my last post. I'm working on consistency. I'm just gonna jump into this post...

On Saturday September 4th, I was leaving work and an acquaintance was walking out in front of me. When I got to my car, she called me over to hers.

She said,"Anthony, you know I appreciate all you do, right?"
I replied,"Of course."
She grabbed me and gave me a tight hug and said, "I love you. Have a good weekend."
"I love you too." I said. "Have a good weekend also."

On Monday September 6th, with a gun as her accomplice, she took her own life. Because I wasn't there I will never know the true details of what happened. One can only wonder what would cause a seemingly happy teacher, mother, wife, and daughter to turn a gun on herself and pull the trigger.

Of course when the news broke at work everyone and their mother had a theory as to what happened. "She was really stressed and just could take it anymore." Okay. "She was on heavy anti depressants and you know suicidal thoughts and behaviors are side effects." Okay. "Her husband was trying to divorce her." Okay. Again, because I wasn't there, I refuse to believe the stories that people conjure up.

On some level, I think suicide is selfish. You brought us joy and you took that away from us. Or maybe that's just me being selfish. I wonder about the child, husband, grandchildren, mother, and friends that she left behind. The church was at capacity during the funeral and the funeral home was standing room only during the visitation. She was loved. I can't help but think that had she known how loved she truly was, maybe things could have been different. Maybe not.

A smile can hide a lot of pain. Again, I don't know all the details to this situation, but I do know that suicide is nothing but a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There's always another choice.

Until we meet again,

Peace and love...

Track: Lauryn Hill: Light My Fire

Mood: Anti

Hip Hop...

Beat box some hip hop back in my heartbeat
And gimme the rhythm so I can tap my feet.

Freestyle some freedom back in my mind,
Cause I can take these tired lyrics time after time.

Graffiti the word "LOVE" all over me,
So I can remember how I feel about thee.

These days I don't know what's going on,
But the hip hop I used to know seems so far gone.

I don't think you realize how much you mean to me.
Now you're just a vacant shell of what you used to be.

I wanna lace up my Adidas again and tip my Kangol,
And rock steady to the beat so hard it vibrates my soul.

I wanna break dance battle. I don't wanna lean and rock,
I wanna two step with my lady, she don't wanna pop, lock, and drop.

Music's met a foe called capitalism and conformity.
We need a hip hop hero with a sick flow over a dope beat.

Once upon a time music's all that seemed to matter.
Now I'm desperately seeking my happily ever after.

When you say something worthy of being placed in a song,
Then and only then will I put my headphones back on.

Track: Destiny's Child: Free

Mood: Relaxed

SWEET FREEDOM

Greetings Blogworld! I hope this post finds you all in the best of health and the highest of spirits! Now, I'm goin in!!

Have you ever met someone who is everything you never knew you wanted? Have you ever found what you thought was love even when you weren’t looking for it? Ladies, have you ever been swept off your feet so quickly that you didn’t even notice when you lost your footing? Have you ever dove so deep into love that you don’t even remember taking the leap? I have.

Love is a blind leap of faith. You’re basically dropping all inhibitions and restrictions in order to give someone all you have to offer. We take this leap in the hopes that the object of our affection will reciprocate the feelings and leap with us, or at least catch us when we fall. It’s beautiful when love works. It’s powerful when someone loves you as much as you love them. It’s soothing to know that someone has the power to crush you, but won’t.

But what if they do? What if the love you thought was the most powerful thing in the world wasn’t? You call that person your “other half” and now it’s over. How do you cope with that? It’s simple. You mourn the loss of your relationship and you move on. Cry if you need to. You do whatever it takes, within reason, to feel whole again. This journey from love to loss and single again is a difficult one and it takes people different times to cope with this newly found freedom.
A serious breakup is a lot like death and grief. In a sense you are mourning the death of a relationship. The five stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance. You’ll tell yourself that you all will get back together. Denial. You’ll get mad and perhaps even take it out on his or her clothes, car, etc. Anger. You’ll suggest you all remain friends and you may or may not mean it. Bargaining. You’ll feel sorry for yourself. You’ll blame yourself and not want to eat, sleep or go out. Depression. Eventually, you will be okay with the break up. Acceptance. Getting to that acceptance is a difficult process.

Your friends will try to hook you up with new people … new people that you will compare to your old love. They say that the best way to get over an old love is to get under a new one. That won’t work. You’ll often look at old photos, old letters, etc and old feelings will resurface. The pain is still there. They still have the ability to control how you feel. They can ruin or make your day based on how they treat you.

At some point, you will be okay. At some point, you will look at the same old photos, old letters, etc and feel NOTHING. No feels of wanting to get back together. No feelings of inadequacy. No feelings of depression. No feelings of pain. NOTHING. You’re free. This person no longer has the ability to control how you feel and you’ve never felt better. SWEET FREEDOM.

Until we meet again ...

Peace and love ...

My Other Half?

Track: The Script: The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Mood: Aloof

MY OTHER HALF?

Greetings blogworld! I pray this entry finds you all in the best of health and the highest of spirits.

So, I was thinking today, why do people call their significant others their "other half"? I don't know about you, but I'm a whole person. I don't want to date a partial woman. I'm a LIBRA and according to the sign, I'm seeking balance in life and love. I also don't like when people say stuff like "you complete me".

I see relationships as more of two strong entities coming together to become a force. I don't think it's healthy to rely on another person to come into your life before you feel complete. Perhaps this is why I'm single. Who knows. What do you all think? Sound off.

Until we meet again ...

Peace and love...